Oh, Vegas.

I forgot to post about my surprise trip to Vegas.  Truly a moron.  Here is what I think of Vegas.  Only go there if you have access to a car.  If you don't, only go if you're really sleazy.  

For Valentine's Day Steve surprised me with a trip to Vegas.  We stayed at the Paris (that's the way you say things in Vegas, "the" and then whatever hotel you're in), saw Phantom at the Venetian (the new version with all the fluffy crap taken out), ate at some A. MA. ZING. restaurants and saw Cirque du Soliel's "Love".  Oh the joy of that show!  

The side of the "strip" that the Paris is on is the sleazier side, as we discovered.  See, we usually drive to Vegas and are therefore able to park in the hotel parking garages, walk into the super classy casinos (read: NOT) and shop without getting our daily dose of over the top porn.  On the strip, if you don't keep your eyes straight ahead, you will see things that... well, let's jut say you wouldn't want to walk the strip with your kids in tow.  My take has always been that Vegas is one of the tackiest, filthiest places on the planet but it has some mighty fine eats (NOT including the crappy crepe joint at the Paris that everyone talks about!) and some really great entertainment.  Plus, it's close to Utah.  We had a blast!

The below picture is a view from our hotel of the famed Bellagio and it's VERY loud fountains.  It was pretty cool to be able to see them at night from our room.  

We ate at 3 different Mario Batali restaurants.  Yes, we have a crush on the fat man in the orange clogs.  The most memorable was Carnevino.  I am NOT a meat eater but I decided to humor Steve (who is a major carnivore).  At Carnevino they are "experimenting" with aging their steaks.  Most places will serve a steak that has been aged 2 months maximum.  The maitre d' (who we were acquainted with from Otto in New York.  Yes, it's a Mariobsession), informed Steve that they had some steaks that had been aging since September (it was February when we were there).  That's right.  5 month old meat.  He said the flavor was amazing and had a sort of "blue cheese" note to it.  GAAAAG.  Steve jumped right on it.  He said it was the best steak he's ever had.  The bone in it looked putrid.  Literally like a rotten bone.  Go fig.  This is Steve after Carnevino (probably not, I have no idea when this was taken), he REALLY wanted me to taste that meat...

Now, Phantom was a mighty fine performance.  I think.  I spent most of the 90 minutes with my shrug over my face because the "gentleman" sitting next to me had the most putrid breath known to either man or beast.  It was like he licked the mold off the steak before they served it to Steve.  I WAS DYING.  I've never experienced anything like it before.  Even when the stinky bugger breathed through his nose the smell was painful.  PAINFUL.  If it hadn't been against the law, I would have taken him out and shot him.  He was obviously dying anyway.  This is how I felt after Phantom...

LOVE, now Love was a pure joy from beginning to end.  No stinky Pete's.  I think I had a smile on my face the entire time.  If you like the Beatles even a bit, you must see this show.  It was sooo fab.  There is one act when they're singing "Lady Madonna" and they're all dancing around in white summery clothes and yellow wellies.  OH. MY. GOSH.  It was adorable.  Plus I love that song.  Also, there was the typical Cirque du Soliel acrobatics which were amazing to say the least.  Dancing, jaw dropping acrobatics and Beatles music.  You can't beat that.  

The shopping.  I found sales that would make anyone start to twitch.  I have a "frugal" streak that runs deep.  Got it from my dad.  I CANNOT buy anything at full price.  Lucky me, on this trip I found a multitude of offerings!  Vegas really is the best (no, it isn't)!  This is me congratulating myself on some really great buys...

The funniest thing about Vegas is the trashy people in it.  The number of grown humans walking around with "half yard" drinks was astonishing.  Isn't that something you're supposed to outgrow in high school or college?  The desire to show the "cool" by carrying around a massive alcoholic beverage in public?  I lost count at 17 million.  The women in dresses 2 sizes too small, the men in shirts 3 sizes too small, the girls in heels 3 inches too tall, the swagger of drunks as they walk down the hall (sorry, couldn't resist).  It is a people watcher's dream land (read: me).  Steve and I found ourselves in fits of laughter time and time again.  He heard a woman exclaim in Spanish, while looking at the "Eiffel Tower", "Oh, it's glorious!"  What the what?!  And this woman looked like she could have been well traveled.  So funny.  I actually have a friend (please let her never read this blog) who was telling me how excited she was to go to Paris.  I got SOOOOO excited for her as she'd not been to Europe and asked her how long she was staying, if she got decent air fare...  She looked at me all wonky and said, "no, Paris in Vegas".  Oh.   She forgot the "the".  

I have not been to Europe in over 10 years.  Take a moment to cry for me, please.  I thought if I tried hard enough I could fool myself into believing I was there whilst in Fake Europe ;).  Look at this picture.  Almost.  Nope.  

Well anyway, fun fun fun!  And thanks Steve for a grand time.  This is my parting shot to Vegas...

All the self portraits are of my boredom while Steve was primping.  He's a primper.  He primps.  

A Happy Day

It's a grand day when this...

gives you this...


I finally got it.  My Mother of the Year medal.  Okay, it's Will's Little Gym graduation medal but he gave it to me tonight and said, "mom, this is for you for being a good mom."  How cute is that?  

I spend most days hoping my kids don't menendez me in my sleep (see Menendez brothers).  I'm a yeller and I wasn't blessed with large quantities of patience.  I feel guilty at the end of most days.  I always feel like I could have done just a little more for those two little doodle bugs.  Raising humans is TOUGH!  It's just really good to know that at least one of them feels that I deserved a medal today.  Lizzy may still menendez me.  We'll see ;).  

I actually AM knitting.  I swear.  I've been so nuts lately with physical therapy and other craziness that I haven't finished much and have also become a bit of a Noblog.  I know, ME?!  I've gotten excited over some patterns which is saying something because about a week ago I thought I'd caught some sort of knitting related illness that made me not want to knit.  I think I've got my knit on again.  

Peace out,

The Mother of the Year

The Naughtiest Dog in the Land

This is Boo. Arthur Boo Radley, to be precise. He is NOT a hero. In fact, this 11 year old Chocolate Labrador is closer to an angel of death.  Don't get me wrong.  I love this dog and have loved him since his puppyhood.  He has been sweet and kind and is WONDERFUL with our kids.  He's never bitten anyone and never would.  It's just that he has a naughty streak 10 miles long.  I could write a book on his horrid behavior (actually, our Newfoundland isn't great in that area either.  Do I see a pattern?), but then I'd be copying "Marly and Me" and it just wouldn't do.  

His exploits of two days ago were the worst in the history of Boo (please believe me when I tell you that this is saying something).  As I was leaving the house to go to physical therapy (in a rush, tying the kids shoes, getting them off to a sitter...), I heard the horrid clicking of a gas stove trying to light.  I wondered what in the world could be going on?  Was there a ghost in the house?  A killer?

As soon as my mind righted itself, I stood bolt upright and yelled, "whose been playing with the stove!?"  Silence.  I ran into the kitchen to find the remains of Will's birthday cake in flames.  Boo is hovering very near.  I immediately turned off the burner and quickly surveyed the damage.  Not too bad so far but those flames were moving like they had a plane to catch!  The profanity that escaped my lips is too offensive to write.  It was enough that Will screamed, "what's happened?"  Whereupon I screamed, "there's a fire!!!!"  Note to self: do not yell "there's a fire" ever again.  

Here the action begins and takes place within about 2 minutes.  Will is screaming, "Oh, this is bad!  Call the fire department!!!!"  Lizzy is crying.  I'm thinking, "what do I do with this flaming cake?"  I yelled the kids out of the kitchen and decided picking up the cake was the best option as the fire extinguisher MIGHT not work and the flames were growing SO fast.  I ran across the kitchen and out the back door where I slammed the cake down on the back porch (made of Trex and supposedly not flammable.  It worked in my favor).  I sprinted back inside, grabbed cups of water and started pouring them all over the stove.  When I was satisfied that nothing was going to re light itself and that no bits of cardboard from the box had hovered over to the rugs/drapes/children I took a look outside.  

Again, profanity.  The box was now 3 feet high in flames and altogether too close to my house.  The sprinting restarted and soon enough the trusty cups of water have doused those flames as well.  

Look at those crazy eyes!  He wouldn't even be good for a picture.  Naughty, naughty dog ;). 

Here's the stupid cake box.  If I'd followed the instructions to "ke efrigerated" none of this would have happened.  The horrid thing is, I know this is the universe trying to tell me to stop eating cake.  I had some this very morning for breakfast.  I complain about my butt and then eat birthday cake for breakfast?  Not anymore.  Who knows what will happen next time I try.

The burner left a lovely brand on the bottom of the box.  I DO NOT know how that rug didn't catch fire!  

Tell all of your domesticated animals that they don't need to resort to such tomfoolery if they want a piece of cake.  Also, some childproofing may have helped in this circumstance.  Never needed it for the kids ;).  

Now look at that face.  Is that the face of a killer?  I thought not.  He tries (about once a week) to be good but he just has this rotten soul.  It's not his fault.  I know we raised him to be a horrid cake theif.  I'm only glad we didn't pay the ultimate price for our negligence.  Well come on, it's not like he's a Menendez!  

Here's the worst part.  As I was running back and forth putting out the flames on the box, Boo got exactly what he wanted.  That's his face print in the cake!