Oh, Vegas.

I forgot to post about my surprise trip to Vegas.  Truly a moron.  Here is what I think of Vegas.  Only go there if you have access to a car.  If you don't, only go if you're really sleazy.  

For Valentine's Day Steve surprised me with a trip to Vegas.  We stayed at the Paris (that's the way you say things in Vegas, "the" and then whatever hotel you're in), saw Phantom at the Venetian (the new version with all the fluffy crap taken out), ate at some A. MA. ZING. restaurants and saw Cirque du Soliel's "Love".  Oh the joy of that show!  

The side of the "strip" that the Paris is on is the sleazier side, as we discovered.  See, we usually drive to Vegas and are therefore able to park in the hotel parking garages, walk into the super classy casinos (read: NOT) and shop without getting our daily dose of over the top porn.  On the strip, if you don't keep your eyes straight ahead, you will see things that... well, let's jut say you wouldn't want to walk the strip with your kids in tow.  My take has always been that Vegas is one of the tackiest, filthiest places on the planet but it has some mighty fine eats (NOT including the crappy crepe joint at the Paris that everyone talks about!) and some really great entertainment.  Plus, it's close to Utah.  We had a blast!

The below picture is a view from our hotel of the famed Bellagio and it's VERY loud fountains.  It was pretty cool to be able to see them at night from our room.  

We ate at 3 different Mario Batali restaurants.  Yes, we have a crush on the fat man in the orange clogs.  The most memorable was Carnevino.  I am NOT a meat eater but I decided to humor Steve (who is a major carnivore).  At Carnevino they are "experimenting" with aging their steaks.  Most places will serve a steak that has been aged 2 months maximum.  The maitre d' (who we were acquainted with from Otto in New York.  Yes, it's a Mariobsession), informed Steve that they had some steaks that had been aging since September (it was February when we were there).  That's right.  5 month old meat.  He said the flavor was amazing and had a sort of "blue cheese" note to it.  GAAAAG.  Steve jumped right on it.  He said it was the best steak he's ever had.  The bone in it looked putrid.  Literally like a rotten bone.  Go fig.  This is Steve after Carnevino (probably not, I have no idea when this was taken), he REALLY wanted me to taste that meat...

Now, Phantom was a mighty fine performance.  I think.  I spent most of the 90 minutes with my shrug over my face because the "gentleman" sitting next to me had the most putrid breath known to either man or beast.  It was like he licked the mold off the steak before they served it to Steve.  I WAS DYING.  I've never experienced anything like it before.  Even when the stinky bugger breathed through his nose the smell was painful.  PAINFUL.  If it hadn't been against the law, I would have taken him out and shot him.  He was obviously dying anyway.  This is how I felt after Phantom...

LOVE, now Love was a pure joy from beginning to end.  No stinky Pete's.  I think I had a smile on my face the entire time.  If you like the Beatles even a bit, you must see this show.  It was sooo fab.  There is one act when they're singing "Lady Madonna" and they're all dancing around in white summery clothes and yellow wellies.  OH. MY. GOSH.  It was adorable.  Plus I love that song.  Also, there was the typical Cirque du Soliel acrobatics which were amazing to say the least.  Dancing, jaw dropping acrobatics and Beatles music.  You can't beat that.  

The shopping.  I found sales that would make anyone start to twitch.  I have a "frugal" streak that runs deep.  Got it from my dad.  I CANNOT buy anything at full price.  Lucky me, on this trip I found a multitude of offerings!  Vegas really is the best (no, it isn't)!  This is me congratulating myself on some really great buys...

The funniest thing about Vegas is the trashy people in it.  The number of grown humans walking around with "half yard" drinks was astonishing.  Isn't that something you're supposed to outgrow in high school or college?  The desire to show the "cool" by carrying around a massive alcoholic beverage in public?  I lost count at 17 million.  The women in dresses 2 sizes too small, the men in shirts 3 sizes too small, the girls in heels 3 inches too tall, the swagger of drunks as they walk down the hall (sorry, couldn't resist).  It is a people watcher's dream land (read: me).  Steve and I found ourselves in fits of laughter time and time again.  He heard a woman exclaim in Spanish, while looking at the "Eiffel Tower", "Oh, it's glorious!"  What the what?!  And this woman looked like she could have been well traveled.  So funny.  I actually have a friend (please let her never read this blog) who was telling me how excited she was to go to Paris.  I got SOOOOO excited for her as she'd not been to Europe and asked her how long she was staying, if she got decent air fare...  She looked at me all wonky and said, "no, Paris in Vegas".  Oh.   She forgot the "the".  

I have not been to Europe in over 10 years.  Take a moment to cry for me, please.  I thought if I tried hard enough I could fool myself into believing I was there whilst in Fake Europe ;).  Look at this picture.  Almost.  Nope.  

Well anyway, fun fun fun!  And thanks Steve for a grand time.  This is my parting shot to Vegas...

All the self portraits are of my boredom while Steve was primping.  He's a primper.  He primps.  

A Happy Day

It's a grand day when this...

gives you this...


I finally got it.  My Mother of the Year medal.  Okay, it's Will's Little Gym graduation medal but he gave it to me tonight and said, "mom, this is for you for being a good mom."  How cute is that?  

I spend most days hoping my kids don't menendez me in my sleep (see Menendez brothers).  I'm a yeller and I wasn't blessed with large quantities of patience.  I feel guilty at the end of most days.  I always feel like I could have done just a little more for those two little doodle bugs.  Raising humans is TOUGH!  It's just really good to know that at least one of them feels that I deserved a medal today.  Lizzy may still menendez me.  We'll see ;).  

I actually AM knitting.  I swear.  I've been so nuts lately with physical therapy and other craziness that I haven't finished much and have also become a bit of a Noblog.  I know, ME?!  I've gotten excited over some patterns which is saying something because about a week ago I thought I'd caught some sort of knitting related illness that made me not want to knit.  I think I've got my knit on again.  

Peace out,

The Mother of the Year

The Naughtiest Dog in the Land

This is Boo. Arthur Boo Radley, to be precise. He is NOT a hero. In fact, this 11 year old Chocolate Labrador is closer to an angel of death.  Don't get me wrong.  I love this dog and have loved him since his puppyhood.  He has been sweet and kind and is WONDERFUL with our kids.  He's never bitten anyone and never would.  It's just that he has a naughty streak 10 miles long.  I could write a book on his horrid behavior (actually, our Newfoundland isn't great in that area either.  Do I see a pattern?), but then I'd be copying "Marly and Me" and it just wouldn't do.  

His exploits of two days ago were the worst in the history of Boo (please believe me when I tell you that this is saying something).  As I was leaving the house to go to physical therapy (in a rush, tying the kids shoes, getting them off to a sitter...), I heard the horrid clicking of a gas stove trying to light.  I wondered what in the world could be going on?  Was there a ghost in the house?  A killer?

As soon as my mind righted itself, I stood bolt upright and yelled, "whose been playing with the stove!?"  Silence.  I ran into the kitchen to find the remains of Will's birthday cake in flames.  Boo is hovering very near.  I immediately turned off the burner and quickly surveyed the damage.  Not too bad so far but those flames were moving like they had a plane to catch!  The profanity that escaped my lips is too offensive to write.  It was enough that Will screamed, "what's happened?"  Whereupon I screamed, "there's a fire!!!!"  Note to self: do not yell "there's a fire" ever again.  

Here the action begins and takes place within about 2 minutes.  Will is screaming, "Oh, this is bad!  Call the fire department!!!!"  Lizzy is crying.  I'm thinking, "what do I do with this flaming cake?"  I yelled the kids out of the kitchen and decided picking up the cake was the best option as the fire extinguisher MIGHT not work and the flames were growing SO fast.  I ran across the kitchen and out the back door where I slammed the cake down on the back porch (made of Trex and supposedly not flammable.  It worked in my favor).  I sprinted back inside, grabbed cups of water and started pouring them all over the stove.  When I was satisfied that nothing was going to re light itself and that no bits of cardboard from the box had hovered over to the rugs/drapes/children I took a look outside.  

Again, profanity.  The box was now 3 feet high in flames and altogether too close to my house.  The sprinting restarted and soon enough the trusty cups of water have doused those flames as well.  

Look at those crazy eyes!  He wouldn't even be good for a picture.  Naughty, naughty dog ;). 

Here's the stupid cake box.  If I'd followed the instructions to "ke efrigerated" none of this would have happened.  The horrid thing is, I know this is the universe trying to tell me to stop eating cake.  I had some this very morning for breakfast.  I complain about my butt and then eat birthday cake for breakfast?  Not anymore.  Who knows what will happen next time I try.

The burner left a lovely brand on the bottom of the box.  I DO NOT know how that rug didn't catch fire!  

Tell all of your domesticated animals that they don't need to resort to such tomfoolery if they want a piece of cake.  Also, some childproofing may have helped in this circumstance.  Never needed it for the kids ;).  

Now look at that face.  Is that the face of a killer?  I thought not.  He tries (about once a week) to be good but he just has this rotten soul.  It's not his fault.  I know we raised him to be a horrid cake theif.  I'm only glad we didn't pay the ultimate price for our negligence.  Well come on, it's not like he's a Menendez!  

Here's the worst part.  As I was running back and forth putting out the flames on the box, Boo got exactly what he wanted.  That's his face print in the cake!

Will

Happy Birthday Baby Lumpkins!

This is Will.  The funniest kid on the planet.  My little buddy.  He turns 4 today and is officially a big boy.  Really.  4 sounds very big boy to me.  I'm the tiniest bit sad.  I'm not one of those parents who gets sad and weepy each time her kids have a birthday, in fact I am enjoying my kids more and more as they get older.  It's just that this little buddy is going to start kindergarten soon and then he's a REALLY big boy and I'll miss him so much when he goes to school.  

It is a very good thing I believe in hospitals and modern medicine as each of my children were in need of medical assistance at birth.  With Will it was nothing major, just a bit of "scooping" because he was good and stuck.  We're not talking a few extra pushes.  I tried.  I tried for 4 hours!  They had to yank him out with the hideous forceps (all the while my cute 65 year old doctor with full makeup, pearls and high heels is singing, "oh some must push and some must pull"), because he was 8 lbs 14 oz and had a massive head.  That little mark by his eye is from the forceps.  Poor little monkey!  


So, of course, I'm going to list my top 20 things I love about Will...

1) He tries very hard to be a good boy (he isn't always perfect)...

2) He comes running into my room every morning and says, "hi mom, I have to go tinkle".

3) He is just like me and loves to watch movies with blankets and popcorn on the couch.

4) He is one of the silliest kids EVER...

5) He loves sports and gets very excited to go to sporting events or playing sports with anyone...

6) He loves his baby sister soooo much

7) He loves to learn and hated his preschool orientation because "[he] didn't learn anything".

8) He turns himself in for lying all the time because he literally thinks his nose will grow.

9) He sings and dances like nobody's business...

10) He cried when I told him he couldn't be Chinese someday.

11) He LOVES Disney as much as us!

12) He thinks he can speak Spanish and feels sorry for me because I can't.

13) He has a huge heart and has compassion for others (at age 4). 

14) He says things like, "Dad, what would I ever do without you?"

15) He describes dinosaurs as having "stompy feet".

16) He loves dressing up...

17) He has adorable buddies that he loves (and a fiance)...

18) He is the most dramatic child on the planet.

19) He really is a little angel boy (even though sometimes you have to dig deep).

20) He's just so cute...

Happy Birthday Sweet William!  I love you so much!

The Lizzard

 Happy Birthday my sweet Lizzy!

Lizzy is two years old today.  We had a discussion last night and she has decided that she's ready to be a big girl ;).  This is a big deal because she's ALL about being the baby.  It's her identity.  She informs us almost daily that she's Lizzy and she's the baby.  

Every time I think about Lizzy's actual birth I feel very grateful that she is here and that she is healthy (well, she's healthy in the summer).  Lizzy wasn't very healthy when she was born.  They don't know exactly what was wrong with her but she couldn't breath very well.  She didn't have an infection and she wasn't premature but her little lungs just wouldn't work right.

I don't usually get into spiritual matters on this blog because they are personal to me and I don't want to sound fanatical or preachy (which can be the case when words are taken out of context).  However, in this case I will break my own rule.  Lizzy was simply not getting better.  I kept expecting the doctors or nurses to come in and tell me she was improving and they kept coming in and telling me otherwise.  I asked Steve and his brother to go in and give her a priesthood blessing. She continued to struggle through the night but improved dramatically by the next morning.  I have zero doubt that things were helped along by that blessing.  She was able to have some of the IV's removed and the oxygen box went soon after.  THEN she stopped turning blue when we held her!  What a happy day that was!  Poor little bug.  

Since it would be absolutely mental for me to list my top 2 things I love about Lizzy, I shall list my top 20.  

1) She is a complete savage (in other words, she's into everything ALL the time ALL day).

2) She has the cutest little munchkin voice on the planet which she uses to state her two fave

phrases; "I love it cookies/milk/apples..." or "Mon waloo pease" (more water please).

3) She says "I love you Mamma" out of the blue.

4) She calls Will "Buddy" because she couldn't say "Will" when she was younger.  It stuck.

5) She LOVES animals.

6) She says things like "I ti-wed" (I'm tired) and it's the cutest thing on earth.

7) She dances her little heart out whenever she can.

8) She has the cutest smile (well, it's gone a bit funky now ;).

9) She loves reading books.

10) She calls chicken nuggets "burgers" because Will likes to eat cheese burgers if we go out

and even though she doesn't like cheese burgers, she wants to be like Will so she pretends.

11) She crawls on the bottom of the swimming pool with her head sticking out and says "lee 

lone, I simming (leave me alone, I'm swimming).

12) She can't handle being without Buddy for more than 10 minutes, so if she wakes up before

him, she will open his door, climb up on his bed and say "waking, waking".

13) She sings "I Can Go The Distance" from Hercules and it's the cutest thing I've ever heard.

14) She is so sassy she doesn't know what to do with herself.  I don't love this now but I know

it will serve her well when she's older.  No one is pushing that girl around!


15) She's just so pretty ;).






16) She runs exactly like a muppet.

17) She jumps exactly like a muppet.
18) Life is so much more fun with her in it!

19) She is my sweetest little angel.

20) She makes us laugh every single day with her perfect naughtiness!  

I LOVE YOU ELIZABETH JANE!

Disney World (Again)

We should have just left them there.  No really.  Not because they're rotten (which they frequently are) but because they love this Emperor Zurg jail cell.  Love it.  

We returned from our trip to Disney World a bit ago and our poor computer has been in the hospital so I couldn't post.  We now have it back (blessed day!), so here I am.  

We had a wonderful time, as always, despite crap weather.  This was the first time in a long time I haven't wanted to come home from a trip.  I don't know what it is about me but I am a major home body at heart.  I really just like coming home.  I like a routine and comfort and not doing laundry in the Pop Century washers...  Anyway, I shocked myself.  I could have stayed another week.  

Disney is the kind of place you either love or you hate.  Obviously I love it.  Always have.  I have this great nostalgia for it.  Steve does too.  Therefore we are happy there.  We're comfortable there and I think we always will be.  Both our families are the same.  How very convenient.  

There is a point every day at every Disney park which I like to call "The Witching Hour" where all the children are melting down and all the parents are melting with them.  I find this hour hilarious.  I love to sit back and watch the suffering.  It's like a miniature, mildly violent war.  The way parents interact with their kids is, at times, insane.  Everyone yells.  Yelling.  Just a park full of angry yelling people and small people.  SO funny.  We sometimes participate in The Witching Hour but try to avoid it.  As we know the signs of its approach, we can usually escape.

This trip was different for us since we only had my parents traveling with us.  Very low key.  They helped us immensely with the babies (bless them) and are lovely to be around as they just go with the flow and don't complain.  We were able to take things very slowly and since the parks were very uncrowded, we just kind of soaked it in and tried new things.  

Something we had never done before was called Rafiki's  Planet Watch which is a sort of nature preserve on Disney's Animal Kingdom.  It was great for the kids to see.  As you walk in there is a recycling bin that talks to the kids and follows them around telling them about the importance of recycling and playing games with them.  Very cute.

They also have a lovely little petting zoo which Lizzy, our resident veterinarian, loved almost as much as anything we did the entire week.  Mostly they have African Pigmy goats which are quite the funniest creatures ever.  They are as wide as they are tall and are mild mannered and completely adorable.  Lizzy loved them and hugged them and brushed their hair and kissed them...  She was covered in snot and smelled like a goat for the remainder of the day ;).  Coleman was her very favorite goat.  She chased him around screaming his name and squishing his face.  "COLEMAAAAAN"!  

This guy needed some dental work.  I can't judge.  I need some too.

If you rush around like a headless chicken whilst at Disney you will definitely be participating in The Witching Hour.  We are smart Disney goers.  We try to take it easy.  We let the kids faff about in the various fountains, Bugs life lands, Dinosaur "dig sights" etc. that they have around every park.  Here are the kids at a fountain in the Animal Kingdom.  They were having a blast.  Steve and I got blasted by some trashy woman for letting Lizzy run around without a shirt.  We MUST be mental ;).  And yes, Steve blasted her back.  We're not the type to let morons get away with their ridiculous antics (she's 2!) :P  

Here they are digging for bones in the Bone Yard at Animal Kingdom.  They love this and could probably do it all day.  It's nice and cool and relaxing and the sand isn't really sand it's just ground up polished rocks so it's lovely and soft and not messy.  


And now a Bug's Land.  It's a giant land where you feel like you're miniature.  That's the Lizzard sliding down a "petal" and Will running swiftly away.  You're surrounded by giant blades of grass and can climb "spider webs" and "dirt clods" and lovely thing like that.  It's very cute.  All these things help the kids release their wiggles and helps to avoid The Witching Hour.

Now we love rides but we will not generally wait forever in a line in order to go on one.  We go to Disney (Land/World) almost always in the off season and we like to see the other things the parks have to offer besides the rides.  One ride we made an exception for was the new Toy Story Midway Mania.  This may be the most adorable, cleverest ride in the world.  We avoided it a few times because of the wait and finally bit the bullet because we realized there wouldn't not be a "better" time.  If you are going to Disney soon wait in line for this ride.  You won't be sad ;).  Will thought he was pretty cool stuff in his 3D glasses.

Will's favorite ride is always Buzz Lightyear (see Emperor Zurg jail), Lizzy's is "Grinning Ghosts" (the Haunted Mansion), Steve's can be any one of the roller coasters spread between all of the parks, and mine is a toss up between the Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean (or anything in Magic Kingdom, really, as they all remind me of being a kid).  I now also love all rides at Epcot since it is the best park of all ;).  The picture below is of us on the "People Mover" (I don't know what it's really called.  That's what it was called at Disneyland but it's not there anymore and I forgot what DW calls it).  I love it.

On to characters.  My kids love them.  Believe it or not there is a union for these fuzzy idiots so you often have to wait in line for quite some time because they have to take breaks (they have to go switch the costume with another person.  Shhhh).  Not that I blame them too much.  I can't imagine being inside one of those costumes in Florida in September.  I want to scream and pull my arms off when I'm there in September because of the heat.  Put me in a furry costume and I'd probably stomp people to death.  Thus, the union.  SO, lines.  It's okay though.  The payoff is worth it.  Will and Lizzy get SOOOOO excited!  Here they are with Donald...

Here's Will with Winnie the Pooh.  He was laughing hysterically about something.  I have no idea what (the characters don't talk) but I think it's so very cute... 

Lizzy picked up this habit of jumping when she saw these guys.  Anyone.  She'd just get so excited she'd jump and jump and jump.  Then they'd jump.  It was hilarious...

Here they are with Buzz and Woody.  A 35 minute wait (but worth every minute).  When Will walked up to Woody he said "Howdy Pardner, we got you for Christmas"!  It's so adorable because they think these guys are the real deal.  They've never question why they don't talk!  Mind you, this floor was not a trampoline.  She was just a jumpin'... 

Another of our favorite things to do while at Disney is to eat.  There is some amazing food to be had.  Honestly.  Take it from two food snobs.  We do the Disney Dining Plan which is a pre paid dining plan that ends up saving you money and is v v convenient.  I have tons of pics of us eating but in the interest of of not being interesting, I shall just include one.  Lizzy eating ice cream with chopsticks.  She is a prodigy.  Well, this was her lunch.  Her entire lunch.  She would not eat on this trip but was a pooping machine.  Go figure. 

I suppose her unwillingness to eat may have had something to do with the fact that she didn't feel well and ended up in an Urgent Care due to her asthma.  Perfect.  That was a fun day.  3 hours at the clinic, a shot in the leg, then back to the park.  Poor little girl.  She was so good about it.


Disney has a serious penchant for fireworks.  It's loud.  My kids don't do loud.  Will, at nearly 4 years old, still has a hard time with fireworks and has to hold his hood around his head to "block" the noise.  I'm sure it works like a charm. 

Lizzy lost her mind this year.  She was sitting on my dad's shoulders and just lost it.  Nothing like terrifying your children with explosions.  

I have no idea when this picture was taken (sometime during our trip) but I think it's very cute.  Steve looks extremely young and Lizzy is doing her typical "smile" and holding her "stick".  Chapstick is her favorite thing and she must have it everywhere she goes.  

Again, my parents were wonderful to have along.  They decided last minute to come and boy are we glad they did.  The kids enjoyed having them more than us!  Seriously.  Every morning they would wake up and say, "when are we seeing Mimi and Papa?".  This is a picture of them with Lizzy on one of the busses that shuttles you to and fro between parks and resorts.  Very efficient.  Lizzy obviously spent too much time with those goats.  I DO NOT know how she managed to make that face but compare it to the little goat who needs dental work.  Uncanny.

All in all a terrific trip.  I miss it already.  Well, I missed it the day we got back.  I love Disney World/Land/Cruise more than is probably healthy.  Oh well, not changing.