Junipers for June

Yes, just in time for summer!  I have just completed my sister's birthday prezzie.  We are NOT going to worry about the fact that her birthday is in February.  I've actually had these done for awhile and keep forgetting to buy buttons.  They are great mitts but the cute factor goes up to fabulous when the buttons are sewn on!!!!

I'm dying!  Are you dying?!  Probably not.  Before you start making fun of me for more fingerless mitts (I quit my 12 step program), I must tell you that these were a request.  A REQUEST!  Let me also add that I do realize that these are NOT really Juniper Mitts.  See, the thumb for these is quite odd.  You simply bind off a bunch of stitches for the thumb and that just isn't going to work for anyone except a Barbie.  We Bendixen girls have normal human sized hands (well, being that we are freakishly tall, probably larger than normal).  The delightful pattern got totally lost on the upper hand because it was stretched beyond all reason.  Pfff.  Obviously I had to reknit.  

These lovelies are knit from little charts and I failed to remember that I would need to switch to the left hand chart (while working the right mitt) when I knit back and forth for the thumb.  Consequently, we have this lovely 70's zig zag that turned out amazingly adorable (though I say it myself).  Not too shabs, yes?  So aside from the thumb hole being a bit gapers, these might be my favorite mitts ever!  The buttons, my gosh the buttons!  These are CRAP buttons from Wal Mart (look, I had to buy some hooks today OK) and they are so great!  If Haley doesn't love these and wear them all summer long, I'm taking them back ;).  

Pattern: Juniper Mitts by Nuttyirishmanknits (free on Ravelry!)

Yarn: Berrocco Ultra Alpaca

Needles: US #7

Made For: Haley

Mods: Giant gaping thumb hole because my hands are too big to accommodate the wonky thumb the pattern calls for

Time: About a day

So I know you can't believe I've been knitting but there's the proof.  I'm even knitting My So Called Scarf right now.  I'm mildly distracted of late with the organizational projects I'm attempting.  Pics to come.  I must warn you that I may lose some blog readers if I post the "before" pictures of my closet.  It was my "secret shame".  I never actually referred to it as my closet.  "Go look in my secret shame" I'd say if Steve needed something from there.  It was bad.  Shameful.  Piggish.  

I couldn't help it.  Just one more glance before you go...

And Now for Something Completely Different

Last night we decided to support some friends and try something different.  Completely different.  Ultimate fighting.  Well, we watched ultimate fighting.  We didn't fight.  Obviously I had my reservations as I am not generally a violent person (except as it pertains to clusters).  I figured this was the kind of thing where the fans get drunk and someone gets shot.  I KNEW my fears were founded when the men got frisked upon entering the arena.  The only place I've been frisked or seen someone frisked as regular protocol is at the airport.  And that was really just soon after 9/11.  Actually, people were relatively calm and no one got violent.  Except in the cage.  

As we looked around for seats, we met up with Amber, whose husband was fighting last night.  I asked if she was nervous.  She said no.  What the what?!  I would have been freaking out.  I kind of was anyway.  People were very excited.  They even brought their kids.  Kids!  I leaned over to Steve and said, "this is the modern day equivalent of the Coliseum!"  He replied that is was a bit, but that these fighters chose to be here and were not, in fact, gladiators ;).   Anyway, the "ceremonies" began, memories of "Rocky" came to mind and a wave of panic swept over me as I remembered that really mean fighters like to kill people.  What if someone died in that cage and the crowd got crazy and we got stomped to death.  I have two kids, people!  Well, none of that happened.   

The above is Aaron.  Amber's husband.  Doesn't he look mean?  Well, he's not.  You'd never know this guy was a fighter.  He's actually a research scientist by day.  Turns out Amber had no reason to be nervous.  I guess she knew better than me ;).  He had his opponent pinned within 20 seconds but then let him go and then the opponent was like an angry insect and there was no stopping him.  He got Aaron in a death hold and that was the end of it.  I guess you have to have a bit of the mean in you.  Or a bit of the angry.  Aaron tapped out and the fight was over.  It was really fun to see.  Yes, fun.  Does that make me a bad person?  No, just sort of Roman.  

Here's a picture of Aaron pinning the insect before he became angry.  He had him for a good long time.  Long enough to really tick him off ;).  

A few fights in, there was a guy that really scared the pants off me.  I went with my friend to get some water and just then the next fighters were coming out.  They do it just like in "Rocky" with the strobe lights and music and insanity.  Well, we were standing right on the side of the red carpet and this nut job comes out making pig/ape sounds and hopping around like a freak.  I literally didn't dare to breath while he passed in case he was like a mini T-Rex and couldn't see me if I didn't move.  After he passed my friend and I looked at each other and had identical "o" shaped mouths and bugged out eyes.  Needless to say this mean bugger won his fight and then jumped up on top of the cage when he was done.  He hurt his opponent enough that the ref had to call it.  I thought a riot might start at that point but alas, we remained safe.  By a miracle.

  This is us smiling in relief that our lives were spared after the Pigape fight.  

Well, I really never thought I'd attend one of these fight nights.  I didn't think it was my style.  I can't knock it, however.  I actually enjoyed myself.  I was yelling for people to "get up!", and "rip his face off!".  I would immediately pick my favorite by who came down the red carpet like a normal human instead of the ones oinking/growling and acting a fool.  Of course, the normal ones rarely win.  It's the Pigapes who are truly mean and therefore do mean things in the cage.  There are few things that are disallowed in the cage but I figure some things are frowned upon. Like beating your opponent until he can't stand up straight. 

So, if you're ever looking for something totally new and different, try a fight night.  You might feel kind of Roman and a bit Rockyish.  It's fun. 

Trypophobia

There is NO reason for this!

Why does such a ridiculous object exist?  I'll tell you.  This crazy pub in Park City has decided that instead of recycling water bottles (like normal people), they would make "art".  Well, this isn't art.  This is crap.  A trypophobe's nightmare.  All the stupid water bottles are clustered together into a not-even-close-to-symmetrical ball and then lit up from within.  It is horrid.  I couldn't even look at it.  My chair had to be facing away from it.  This picture was taken with me looking away from it.  I hate it so much.  It makes me angry.  All clusters make me angry.  Now I'm laughing, again, at how insane this phobia is.  Does anyone know the Greek word for anger/rage?  Because I'm not afraid of these things, they just make me mad.  And then I laugh.  So does anyone know the Greek for Bipolar?

Peace out

Heidi

Ha HA!

Oh ye of little faith.  All that thought I had given up knitting.  Thought that this disease was permanent.  That was just me?  Oh.  Well, I give you... wait for it... a finished object!  

Okay, so it's not the sexy cardi I've been working on (just purchased the needles for the sleeves.  Would you believe I didn't have 10.5 dpns?), but it's pretty great.  This, my dear friends, is the Amelia Earhart Aviator Cap and my new favorite hat.  It is the best hat in the world.  A very quick knit, it's an amazing way to brush up on short rows.  I'd done them just a bit in a class but never on an actual project.  You'd think the way other knitters talk about them that they're like translating Greek.  Apparently not.  This hat was easy peasy.   I'm already working on another one for a friend.  Yes, I knit more than ONE of the same thing all the time.  It's fine.  

And yes, I know this is another accessory.  Here's the thing with me, I have knitting ADHD.  I should probably be on meds.  The cardi I'm working on is boring me to SOBS.  I have to knit accessories to keep me sane.  I'm an accessory girl at heart.  Maybe someday I'll become addicted to knitting clothing but I really like the instant gratification that an accessory can give me.  Does that make me a bad knitter?  A wanna be?  A poser?  Oh well, it's how I am.  

I'm so glad to have my knitting mojo back.  I was well and truly scared that it had gone.  For good.  I almost joined a group for failed knitters.  This hat, this lovely, lovely hat has saved me. 

Here's the funny thing about Amelia.  This looks like an aviator cap.  It also looks like the hat a Catholic Bishop might wear (or would have in days of yore).  It also looks like a Medieval warrior helmet.  And last, but not least, a flapper hat.  This hat, you could say, wears many hats.  Did I mention it's my new fave?  It used to be the Unoriginal Hat, but that is so 2008.  Amelia is where it's at for '09.  

Pattern: Amelia Earhart Aviator Cap by Flor

Yarn: Rowan Cashsoft Aran.  Oooh, it's lovely! (I found the label)

Made for: Moi

Mods: Using the aran weight yarn instead of worsted.  I thought it might make it slightly bigger.  I have a massive head.  

Well, there you have it.  I love it dearly.  The pics (except the last wonky one of the seam) were taken by Steve.  He was making fun of me.  You can too.  

Oh, Vegas.

I forgot to post about my surprise trip to Vegas.  Truly a moron.  Here is what I think of Vegas.  Only go there if you have access to a car.  If you don't, only go if you're really sleazy.  

For Valentine's Day Steve surprised me with a trip to Vegas.  We stayed at the Paris (that's the way you say things in Vegas, "the" and then whatever hotel you're in), saw Phantom at the Venetian (the new version with all the fluffy crap taken out), ate at some A. MA. ZING. restaurants and saw Cirque du Soliel's "Love".  Oh the joy of that show!  

The side of the "strip" that the Paris is on is the sleazier side, as we discovered.  See, we usually drive to Vegas and are therefore able to park in the hotel parking garages, walk into the super classy casinos (read: NOT) and shop without getting our daily dose of over the top porn.  On the strip, if you don't keep your eyes straight ahead, you will see things that... well, let's jut say you wouldn't want to walk the strip with your kids in tow.  My take has always been that Vegas is one of the tackiest, filthiest places on the planet but it has some mighty fine eats (NOT including the crappy crepe joint at the Paris that everyone talks about!) and some really great entertainment.  Plus, it's close to Utah.  We had a blast!

The below picture is a view from our hotel of the famed Bellagio and it's VERY loud fountains.  It was pretty cool to be able to see them at night from our room.  

We ate at 3 different Mario Batali restaurants.  Yes, we have a crush on the fat man in the orange clogs.  The most memorable was Carnevino.  I am NOT a meat eater but I decided to humor Steve (who is a major carnivore).  At Carnevino they are "experimenting" with aging their steaks.  Most places will serve a steak that has been aged 2 months maximum.  The maitre d' (who we were acquainted with from Otto in New York.  Yes, it's a Mariobsession), informed Steve that they had some steaks that had been aging since September (it was February when we were there).  That's right.  5 month old meat.  He said the flavor was amazing and had a sort of "blue cheese" note to it.  GAAAAG.  Steve jumped right on it.  He said it was the best steak he's ever had.  The bone in it looked putrid.  Literally like a rotten bone.  Go fig.  This is Steve after Carnevino (probably not, I have no idea when this was taken), he REALLY wanted me to taste that meat...

Now, Phantom was a mighty fine performance.  I think.  I spent most of the 90 minutes with my shrug over my face because the "gentleman" sitting next to me had the most putrid breath known to either man or beast.  It was like he licked the mold off the steak before they served it to Steve.  I WAS DYING.  I've never experienced anything like it before.  Even when the stinky bugger breathed through his nose the smell was painful.  PAINFUL.  If it hadn't been against the law, I would have taken him out and shot him.  He was obviously dying anyway.  This is how I felt after Phantom...

LOVE, now Love was a pure joy from beginning to end.  No stinky Pete's.  I think I had a smile on my face the entire time.  If you like the Beatles even a bit, you must see this show.  It was sooo fab.  There is one act when they're singing "Lady Madonna" and they're all dancing around in white summery clothes and yellow wellies.  OH. MY. GOSH.  It was adorable.  Plus I love that song.  Also, there was the typical Cirque du Soliel acrobatics which were amazing to say the least.  Dancing, jaw dropping acrobatics and Beatles music.  You can't beat that.  

The shopping.  I found sales that would make anyone start to twitch.  I have a "frugal" streak that runs deep.  Got it from my dad.  I CANNOT buy anything at full price.  Lucky me, on this trip I found a multitude of offerings!  Vegas really is the best (no, it isn't)!  This is me congratulating myself on some really great buys...

The funniest thing about Vegas is the trashy people in it.  The number of grown humans walking around with "half yard" drinks was astonishing.  Isn't that something you're supposed to outgrow in high school or college?  The desire to show the "cool" by carrying around a massive alcoholic beverage in public?  I lost count at 17 million.  The women in dresses 2 sizes too small, the men in shirts 3 sizes too small, the girls in heels 3 inches too tall, the swagger of drunks as they walk down the hall (sorry, couldn't resist).  It is a people watcher's dream land (read: me).  Steve and I found ourselves in fits of laughter time and time again.  He heard a woman exclaim in Spanish, while looking at the "Eiffel Tower", "Oh, it's glorious!"  What the what?!  And this woman looked like she could have been well traveled.  So funny.  I actually have a friend (please let her never read this blog) who was telling me how excited she was to go to Paris.  I got SOOOOO excited for her as she'd not been to Europe and asked her how long she was staying, if she got decent air fare...  She looked at me all wonky and said, "no, Paris in Vegas".  Oh.   She forgot the "the".  

I have not been to Europe in over 10 years.  Take a moment to cry for me, please.  I thought if I tried hard enough I could fool myself into believing I was there whilst in Fake Europe ;).  Look at this picture.  Almost.  Nope.  

Well anyway, fun fun fun!  And thanks Steve for a grand time.  This is my parting shot to Vegas...

All the self portraits are of my boredom while Steve was primping.  He's a primper.  He primps.  

A Happy Day

It's a grand day when this...

gives you this...


I finally got it.  My Mother of the Year medal.  Okay, it's Will's Little Gym graduation medal but he gave it to me tonight and said, "mom, this is for you for being a good mom."  How cute is that?  

I spend most days hoping my kids don't menendez me in my sleep (see Menendez brothers).  I'm a yeller and I wasn't blessed with large quantities of patience.  I feel guilty at the end of most days.  I always feel like I could have done just a little more for those two little doodle bugs.  Raising humans is TOUGH!  It's just really good to know that at least one of them feels that I deserved a medal today.  Lizzy may still menendez me.  We'll see ;).  

I actually AM knitting.  I swear.  I've been so nuts lately with physical therapy and other craziness that I haven't finished much and have also become a bit of a Noblog.  I know, ME?!  I've gotten excited over some patterns which is saying something because about a week ago I thought I'd caught some sort of knitting related illness that made me not want to knit.  I think I've got my knit on again.  

Peace out,

The Mother of the Year

The Naughtiest Dog in the Land

This is Boo. Arthur Boo Radley, to be precise. He is NOT a hero. In fact, this 11 year old Chocolate Labrador is closer to an angel of death.  Don't get me wrong.  I love this dog and have loved him since his puppyhood.  He has been sweet and kind and is WONDERFUL with our kids.  He's never bitten anyone and never would.  It's just that he has a naughty streak 10 miles long.  I could write a book on his horrid behavior (actually, our Newfoundland isn't great in that area either.  Do I see a pattern?), but then I'd be copying "Marly and Me" and it just wouldn't do.  

His exploits of two days ago were the worst in the history of Boo (please believe me when I tell you that this is saying something).  As I was leaving the house to go to physical therapy (in a rush, tying the kids shoes, getting them off to a sitter...), I heard the horrid clicking of a gas stove trying to light.  I wondered what in the world could be going on?  Was there a ghost in the house?  A killer?

As soon as my mind righted itself, I stood bolt upright and yelled, "whose been playing with the stove!?"  Silence.  I ran into the kitchen to find the remains of Will's birthday cake in flames.  Boo is hovering very near.  I immediately turned off the burner and quickly surveyed the damage.  Not too bad so far but those flames were moving like they had a plane to catch!  The profanity that escaped my lips is too offensive to write.  It was enough that Will screamed, "what's happened?"  Whereupon I screamed, "there's a fire!!!!"  Note to self: do not yell "there's a fire" ever again.  

Here the action begins and takes place within about 2 minutes.  Will is screaming, "Oh, this is bad!  Call the fire department!!!!"  Lizzy is crying.  I'm thinking, "what do I do with this flaming cake?"  I yelled the kids out of the kitchen and decided picking up the cake was the best option as the fire extinguisher MIGHT not work and the flames were growing SO fast.  I ran across the kitchen and out the back door where I slammed the cake down on the back porch (made of Trex and supposedly not flammable.  It worked in my favor).  I sprinted back inside, grabbed cups of water and started pouring them all over the stove.  When I was satisfied that nothing was going to re light itself and that no bits of cardboard from the box had hovered over to the rugs/drapes/children I took a look outside.  

Again, profanity.  The box was now 3 feet high in flames and altogether too close to my house.  The sprinting restarted and soon enough the trusty cups of water have doused those flames as well.  

Look at those crazy eyes!  He wouldn't even be good for a picture.  Naughty, naughty dog ;). 

Here's the stupid cake box.  If I'd followed the instructions to "ke efrigerated" none of this would have happened.  The horrid thing is, I know this is the universe trying to tell me to stop eating cake.  I had some this very morning for breakfast.  I complain about my butt and then eat birthday cake for breakfast?  Not anymore.  Who knows what will happen next time I try.

The burner left a lovely brand on the bottom of the box.  I DO NOT know how that rug didn't catch fire!  

Tell all of your domesticated animals that they don't need to resort to such tomfoolery if they want a piece of cake.  Also, some childproofing may have helped in this circumstance.  Never needed it for the kids ;).  

Now look at that face.  Is that the face of a killer?  I thought not.  He tries (about once a week) to be good but he just has this rotten soul.  It's not his fault.  I know we raised him to be a horrid cake theif.  I'm only glad we didn't pay the ultimate price for our negligence.  Well come on, it's not like he's a Menendez!  

Here's the worst part.  As I was running back and forth putting out the flames on the box, Boo got exactly what he wanted.  That's his face print in the cake!